my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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