im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
