the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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