I think my vagina is haunted
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
