Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
