Midget sex pt 2 tonight
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
