We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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