Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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