I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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