do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
