barbara walters just said penis...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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