I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
