Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
