he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My ass is underappreciated
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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