K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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