Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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