just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she smelled like a LAN party
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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