Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
