I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
