The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
