Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
