Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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