Little spoons don't ask big questions
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
