I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
do herpes really smell.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
