My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
