I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You made out with two different species that night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
