Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
