There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You can't special order awesome
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
