O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just threw up on my dentist
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
