Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
