Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
