Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
