I skipped work to stalk him.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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