Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
