I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
