but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
