i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
