Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
