i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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