ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
