I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
