Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
