She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
