Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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