What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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