I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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