So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
