I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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