well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
