I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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