remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
