You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
