well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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