pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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