I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
